I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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