I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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