Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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