Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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