who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
