Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
