he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
