My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize