from now on my penis is your penis
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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