i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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