Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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