White coat. Heels.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
