dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
