I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
