you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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