His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
