All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You smell like stripper and shame
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
