Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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