I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He passed out mid-signature
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize