it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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