Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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