mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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