Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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