so that wasnt chicken after all
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
