we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
