Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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