Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
