Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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