So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
