is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
