I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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