O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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