his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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