Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
