Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
