he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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