what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's official drugs can't kill me
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
