We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
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