a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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