You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
