he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
