Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
