Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
