I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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