I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize