Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
