i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
