I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
