oh god the rape fog is back!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
