Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
