lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize