My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
