I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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