Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
