I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it glows. i had to have it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
