I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
How's work?
Spinning.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
