I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
