Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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